“We are limited in our understanding of another person's life by our own range of experience”. Judgment and observation are both methods of scanning a situation and deciding whether to approach or withdraw. Thus, when we meet another person our brain automatically scans or assesses — what do I see, what do I feel, can I find similarities, am I intrigued or repelled? However, when the assessment begins to sound like an evaluation — are they smarter than me, are they more prestigious than me? — we have moved from observation to judgment.

On the second day of the course, the trainer helped Ms.Giang understand that judgment and observation are different behaviors with identifiable distinctions. Deely aware of this, she gradually changed her mind and behaviors.

In terms of work, Ms. Giang changed the way she deals with her colleagues and customers. In the past, when her clients suddenly terminated the contract within 2 or 3 days of contract signing, she used to consider them as irresponsible and spontaneous people. This negative feeling was even intense as she had put her effort into finishing all necessary tasks to conclude this contract. However, now she shared that she will try to observe more to see what is really happening and figure out the root cause of their actions rather than judge them immediately. Eventually, combined with the learned techniques to build rapport with people having different DRS (Dominant Representative System), she will find a feasible remedy to deal with her clients to negotiate and make a final agreement.

With regard to her personal life, Ms.Giang also decided to adjust the way she treats her daughter. She confessed that her daughter usually procrastinates, which required her to remind and sometimes help complete the tasks her daughter must do. After learning the first module of the NLP course, she is committed not to judge her daughter and let her do what she wants in life.     

All in all, judgment and observation are not synonymous. The difference between judgment and observation can be discovered in the emotional tone. The emotional tone of observation is neutral. You scan a situation and simply notice what your direct experience is telling you. Ms.Giang is trying to do this and make it become her instinct. Do you want to be able to separate observation from judgment?